hello

Kiosai rocked. I was like the extra on stage filming the whole MADDNESS. Everybody knows Kiosai. Everybody loves Kiosai. Why? God I dont know. It means pick up shit. Everybody knows how to pick up shit. Everyone loves to pick up shit. Yeah.

At a gig all you have to do in order to have fun is to heck what others think of you and just enjoy. Heck your damm hair. Heck your clothes. Heck the shoes. Heck the face. Just music. Shit I still give a damm about the hair man. What else really rocked there was Final Summer. I dont know whats genre is it but its like Electrico kinda music. The bassist was there.

In the pit there was this green tee guy/girl but really totally girl. I thought she was a guy. And I pushed her I think at the boobs. Shit man. Cant tell if shes a girl. Anyway this same girl is a joker. She went into the pit again and got pushed to the ground. No one saw no one cared. She was getting stomped on. Then I decide to go in and get her up, I got bashed in the face. She was totally stupid man she stayed down on the floor the longest like lying there with all the feets around her.

I wanna learn how to play the guitar and play at a gig. Preferably the Electrico genre. I am gonna get a cheap electric guitar and practice. 300 bucks. Work for my mom for 1 month.

I met Ex Arpee member eve. Man she looks hot. And the guy I cant remember his name. Heard his band before. But didnt know the name of the band. No one I asked knew. But now I heard from the man himself. Heroic No Avail. They rock.

Made lots of frens today. Next time go gig can 'AYE! SO-AND-SO WHATS UP MANN.' And then have fun and enjoy. Being lonely is no fun. Being alone is shit. Always try to make frens. Thats my moto for now. Network. Maybe next time in the future you need their help or they need your help.

I saw some people from my ex school at the gig. Some of them are like just sitting at the corner listening. I dunno if thats emo or not but thats crap. They jus sit there and stare around. Some people from my school are good man... they've got good bands. Carcal. Pardon my spelling it sucks. Got to go check the name.

Some guy elbow my balls while moshing.

another gig. sounds nice. rachel? go? okay!

4th avenue is good.

Christmas eve , christmas day and post christmas.
They are all really really closely connected. Event-Event2-Sleep-Event3-Event4-Event5-Sleep-Event6

On the eve of christmas i woke up and had to go down to parkway to meet moses to get sandy's present. 39.90 bucks. daniel still owes me 8 bucks (in case i forget, i'm really short of cash my rents aint giving me any). got the wallet then moses had to fuck off. so i'm left with 2 hours ro burn before the cityharvest gig.

Met jocelyn, god i couldnt really reconise her. She sort of grown so busty since i last saw her. And she too also had to fuck off after a while. So i'm Left with Lee Child. Read until page 40 (i think).

the city harvest thing at expo was alright except for the part where they spent almost 15 mins telling us to 'donate' money. I'm not okay with that. Donations are for a person to give, not forced or exchanged for more blessings?! more money more blessings? most retarded.

went back home for family dinner after the service. had french ...(forgotten the word. its in french) a pot full of olive oil and you stick raw beef chunks in it to cook it. Well done or med rare all controled by you.

Went to church for mid night mass and pagen but instead had a huge dose of bad humour blah... Mehhh... and repetative sermons. Hot attached chick sat in the same bench as me! I think the whole thing ended at 2 am. On christmas morning. Moses joel and me went to sandy's house for a hang over? we moved in a J motion from the garden table and chairs to the lawn then into the living room then dinning space(not exactly a room). Took some total idiot cool photos in the lawn and living room. and some more when moses joel and me were on our way back. I personal love the lawn, living room mirror reflections, convex mirror reflections pictures. For gist of the stuff we chatted about go to moses's spot. banana and papaya.

back home at 7 slept until about 12 then went to my grann's place for lunch. then went to holy family to help my dad with his church party stuff. attended chinese mass. then went for after party which isnt exactly after party cos my idea of it was fun laughter jokes not a selfish big rich self-blaming MARIS violent moron cursing machine who had it in the ass. met some really mannly girls who can stand not bathing. became a counceller for a moment listening and talking and comforting people. being nice and not farking in the living room. haha. kaya buns from the bakery near jo's house are nice. soft as boobs. but not really according to others.

realised how luck i am. going to be nice son again. try not to be a rebel at home. going to get new bed frame as christmas present from mom. going to get new matress as christmas present from dad. going to do accounts for my mom's company. going to help my aunt at the showroom. going to be nice to everyone. wish my hair could grow until it covers my ears. wanna get a trumpet/trombone. wanna get a surfboard. wanna learn skimboarding. convinced i'll be good at it. wanna learn to play songs from coheed and cambria, long shot hero, chiodos.

details of the events are in my brain if it din seem long here thats cos my writing suck i'm trying to write better. I'm too tired to write in proper today. It seems like a real long day to me tho.

felt v. v. v. happy on christmas morning.

felt v. v. v. counceller on post christmas morning.

i still dunno what's high after the after party.

I wanna know.

hope to go to more parties to socialise. brush up on socialising.

try making some cool new pick up lines.

hope to go to more gigs.

i want a free electric guitar.

i want a trumpet/trombone.

Rocking x'mas really rocked. I mean even though i had to pay 10 bucks for the entry ticket and get a ugly stamp on my wrist like pigs, cows whatever.

Patched things up with joyce so now we're even.

Moshing was sweaty(means it was okay) except there were some skinheads being the way they are.

Rico was being an idiot the whole time.

I realised my skl had good bands.

Met my cousin there.

Getting the feeling back again.

Planning on going to more gigs.

Planning to get melanie/rachel/jabez out for one.

Had a whole clan down at my gran's place this evening for family prayer for my grand dad's death.

I said holy father, hail mary and glory be at the last decade.

Got 3 vibrations from my phone through out the time in prayer.

Never took a look until the end.

First time had so many vibrations in such a short time span without planning for it to.

Got to know my distant cousin better through talking about music in singapore.

Realised that i'm so new to the scene.

There're like so many bands in Singapore alone.

I agreed with the MTV PUNKS piece in lioncitydiy.

Everyone go to lioncitydiy.com

My grand dad just died. i'm not sad, not crying. My mom cried about coming back early for our selfish reason, not being there for my dad who lost his dad, not being there for grand ma who fell sick today and did not go to the hospital and for god ma whose's about to fall sick. My sis went back to her crying frenzy. She cried an awful lot. i guess they're still awake at the moment. My bro was like me not looking sad and not crying.

My grand ma's birthday is just next week. I wonder how it is gonna be like next year.

I left for Thailand last thurdays and came back on wednesday. My grand dad is in intensive care due to total liver damage. He had blood change for the past few days since he changed from government hospital to private. When i met him on thursday he was awake he could wave his hand and nod his head when we spoke to him. The doctor gave him a week of blood exchange. It was a week that would determine if his liver could regenerate itself or... In the week, his kidney failed and his lungs needed the respirator. His heart beat was irregular, it could go up to 140 and down to around 96.

Melanie Jane asked me if i would go with her to city harvest. I think i still like her. But i think if that's the reason for me attending the service it would be wrong. I'm not the kind of v. v. religious person whose always in touch with God. I go to church on sundays but in the week i hardly pray. I'm always asking if God is really there. I wonder if this whole religion thing is just human creation because they want someone to turn to when they are in a fix, to comfort themselves mentally when things are bad.

Take death for an example. Maybe you have someone that died. You have no idea what will happen to him when he goes. So as to not kill your mental structure you tell yourself that there is this place called heaven where the someone that died would go to and that the place would be filled with all the good things and there would be nothing bad.

When i was with my mom, sis and bro just now giving the moment to our grand dad i started thinking about what happens. What if they just go and thats all. There's no place else. It's just humans are organisms that have advanced to the stage where they can think, and they start to invent some place else that they would go to next and be all merry. We're all living things, bacteria and other small organisms are, would they go to heaven when they are gone, killed and destroyed? Maybe that doesn't make sense. But i dun understand my religion. I know i am suppose to believe even though i dun understand.

I wanna understand these things, otherwise i'll just keep questioning.

Today is melanie (different one) birthday and i'm v. sure she doesn't care about what age she is. She's 16(still v. young) today. She wants to celebrate with a special someone but the someone hasn't appeared. So she's celebrating with her rents. I got her a present. Bridget Jones' Diary. She's waiting for that special someone. She's not looking. Cause if she was she would date guys. Anyway i think if she's just gonna wait she'll be like Bridget Jones. HAHA kidding.

++

On my flight to Thailand.

The air stewardess was serving the lunch chicken w. noodles or fish w. rice. I took chicken w. noodles, it's thai-airways so its always better to take chicken cause if fish isn't fresh, it would stink. I was jus tucking into my food when the plane started to jerk a little, the pilot reported that we're having air turbulence and asked us to stay calm.

The chicken w. noodle sucked big time. The noodles tasted like a lot of rubber bands, not surprisingly the chicken was alright but they provided just a few pieces of chicken. The salad had a disgusting flavour and had this large white piece of meat and pale old cabbage. The desert was this pink coloured jelly, which is not soft at all. I said to mom,"If this plane is going down, i'll hate to think this is the last meal i'll be having. There's the polar curry puff we bought at the airport right?" You probably wouldn't find it funny now, but under the circumstances on the plane its was.

I got some stuff for my pals, got myself 2 l.s. shirt and a sleek black jacket there. It looks like i am going to be spending christmas in thailand or something.

update:
I just posted it and saw the title and remembered about today. I went to parkway with my mom, sis and bro. My mom went to do her hair while she gave us money to shop for christmas present. All this was before we got the news that our grand dad had passed on. i went for my cousin's concert in tjc in the evening. my cousin had a shine on her face. It was reflecting light. There was afew cute ones playing on stage. And i saw Gladys. Can't believe it. She's one hot girl. She's smart also. She got into vj. She asked me to go to her school's concert. I was about to agree when she told me she was with the band on stage. Damm if she wasn't.

I'm going to rocking x'mas tml. And most probably i'll see joys and her pals there. Actually i wished she and i could be frens. I hate to have someone hating me. I was wrong about her. I should have never asked her. I hardly even knew her then. And i missed the chance to be with someone who i knew better.

I want a surfboard size 66; i dun mind second-hand.
I want my walk-in wardrobe.
I want my bed frame.
I want my laptop.
I want to go Bangkok.

Yeah thats about it.

I'm using the old IBM with a USB wireless thingy so i've got internet. But i can't check my mail. The connection was refused when attempting to connecting to www.goog... . Fuck.

Okay so i'm done with O'levels. I know this is so long over due but i've got to say it. Its a signficant day, after the last paper i went home. The next day the most exciting event was i went to swim i only had to walk 4 steps. And the next next day's most exciting event was that i went to swim at 9 pm. I was moving house, how nice.

I've got 2 boxes of stuff from the old place and the hell lot of rubbish(4 years of school SHIT) sold them all to the man. Got around 4 bucks or something. I just made a random guess with that no.

The following week i got screamed at and scolded because my room's too messy or rather i still had boxes in my room. I wished someone accidentally set fire to it so i wouldn't have to look through it and think about where to put it and whether its worth keeping. I could just brush it off as burnt by mistake and not feel bad. You know sometimes you have so many things you kinda wanna keep and kinda dun want. Its that kinda situtation.

The week past and i cant recall what i did except i made it a point to swim at night.

So saturday i'm going to Bali. I threw my clothes into the bag.

I learnt surfing there and i'm totally in love with it. Now that i'm back in Singapore i think she sucks. There's no place for surfing. My brother was the best. He just jumped up when the white wash caught on, balanced and actually went all the way into the beach. Unlike the rest of us who were still lying on the board trying to catch the wave. Oh yeah and i saw a topless sun-"bather", her boobs were so white.

I saw those small cute little drum sets and thought of buying it for melanie. But i didn't.

I bought DVDs for 1 dollar+. I bought 3 singlets. I bought a lamp, green. I BRAIDED my hair! But i left a patch to go home with. I look weird with my whole head braided. I'll go to church with the patch.

At the beach resort there was this party for the guest. And they had thing dance thingy. The people there were SKANKING. There wasnt any ska bands there playing live but they had the tv on with the ska band playing in it. How cool is that. I was pissed so i din join in.

Everything else other then the above was nondescript and boring.