hello

Today was as bad as the days that are about to come. Life is playing with me. I saw something i want but couldn't take.

I saw Melanie with her brillant wide smile, totally vapourised my heart. Like sublimation. Solid to gas. She is so cute! She wore that shoe that no girl would dare wear because they care too much about how others think.

I think i should learn from her to never tell a person whether you like them or you don't like them, even if they ask.

Look not doing that, now i've got to vomit every feeling i have out and start with a fresh new Kleenex tissue paper. And i won't stop and use it to clean the birdshit that falls on me anymore. i'll use water and soap. Life stinks.

I went for math tuition today and since i was a lazy belligerent moron i stood outside the sidegate to wait for someone from inside to come out before i could enter. Someone else joined me waiting. It's Stacy's boyfriend, i din know until i saw them kissing. Yeah she opened from inside for him. Then i saw the smoching. Awww din i tell you life stinks. I din bother saying hi to her.

I love my colour theme now.

Lonely boring morning. I guess my life is back to normal now. Waking up feeling like the world is crashing into me and not doing anything about it. Phone's not blinking. Life's just like the machine you see in the ICU going flat with that beep tune to go along with.

But then again wasn't my life like that all along what's a little displacement from the norm gonna affect.

Nothing. Like if you stand in front of a bulldozer to stop it from bulldozing whatever you are protecting. Ask yourself would it hurt the bulldozer if it goes over you? No. So why stand in front of it.

This song keeps coming up on random, Monster in Disguise By Audio Karate.
"...
this soul has many voids throughtout me
i have fallen deep inside, i will never find the right way
and im sick of living life through weakness
i would rather slip and die than live this life without you."

Anyway i forgot to call rachel, by the time i remembered it like 8pm she's probably asleep. I so fucking busy everyday i get home in the evening. Like tomorrow i've got church and that takes up the morning, then i got tuition maths and chemistry and that takes up the afternoon til evening. Then i got dinner which takes up a lot of time also. I've also got lots of stuff unfinished like studying, rachel's card, a new page layout and my new room interior layout.

I hope i don't have to feel this song Do You Miss Being Everything to Me by Audio Karate.

i think everyone should listen to Why bother By Weezers.
Hear every bit of it. Then think of me in that kinda position.

I guess i've got it all messed up and i should pick it up and throw it into the dustbin. Leave it there and get on. Or maybe pick it up and warm it up. I think i'll do that. Pick it up and heat it up.

Chiodos

everyone should listen to them.

1. Get drunk
2. Get others drunk, so while i'm sober i can draw on their faces
3. Learn Ice skating with Melanie
4. More sessions at Espla
5. Shopping @HK
6. Taking more photos of things
7. Use those photos and design the Radioactive T-shirt designing comp.
8. Learn my grinds
9. Jump of other types of buildings
10. Learn Microsoft Visual Basic
11. Write a accounting programme
12. Sell it to my Aunties
13. Do my mom's business site
14. Get a girlfriend
15. Get drunk
16. Print a shirt that sez YOU SUCK and wear it to Orchard
17. TauPok the Chairman and Vice Chairman on the 18th Nov
18. Call up the combine science people and tell them they suck on the 19th Nov
19. Stare at a particular spot in the sky for 2 hours in a busy area
20. Slam into a wall/pole/car when i'm walking pass a group of very very fugly girls just to make them think they're jio then shout FUGLY to them
21. Get into a exciting clique where parties are common place
22. Ride the whole MRT.
23. Go to Sentosa and write on the sand YOU SUCK.
24. Pretend I'm some Model Scout and go along Orchard telling people that they have the makings of the next top model in Singapore.
25. Ask a group of friends to go horizontal against the MRT pole. Like handstand, just the hands are on the pole.
26. Go for gigs
27. Read 100 novels
28. Learn Keyboarding
29. Go back to school and tell the GuardDog HE SUCKS
30. Blast Die For Your Government in Public Bus
31. Try Skimboarding
32. Stupid stunts i cant think of now

When i think of some more i'll add it in. Anyone with any suggestions just drop it in the comments

This was from the last practice practical i'm ever gonna do. The very last yes. Its the last, but i still managed to screw it all up. did titration 3 times before i got the right one and had to do another to confirm it.

I've been reading Douglas Adams The HitchHiker Trilogy. Reach book 3 already. The 1st book was funny. 2nd book was funny. 3rd book is funny. 4th book should be funny. 5th book definately should be funny as well.

Here's a exerpt from The Restaurant at The End Of the Universe.
:Their journey northwards brought them into steep mountainous terrain of breathtaking sweep and beauty. The vast, jagged, snow-covered peaks ravished their senses. The cold began to bite into their bones.

They wrapped themselves in animal skins and furs which Ford Perfect acquired by a technique he once learned from a couple of ex-pralite monks running a Mind-Surfing resort in the Hills of Hunain.

The galaxy is littered wih ex-Pralite monks, all on the make, because the mental control techniques the Order has evolved as a form of devotional discipline are, frankly, sensational - and extraordinary numbers of monks leaving the Order just after they have finished their devotional training and just before they take their final vows to stay locked in small metal boxes for the rest of their lives.

Ford's technique seemed to consist mainly of standing still for a while and smiling.

After a while an animal - a deer perhaps - would appear from out of the trees and watch him cautiously. Ford would continue to smile at it, his eyes would soften and shine, and he would seem to radiate a deep and universal love, a love which reached out to embrace all of creation. A wonderful quietness would desend on the surrounding countryside, peaceful and serene, emanating from this transfigured man. Slowly the deer would approach, step by step, until it was almost nuzzling him, whereupon Ford Prefect would reach out to it and break its neck.

'Pheromone control,' he said it was, 'you just have to know how to generate the right smell.'

It funny right. Go get that book.

Since that day i assumed the role Nerd.

I've made 2 friends with their names ending with -ie, for some strange reason.
Melanie and Stephanie. Nerds are more attractive, ah i dunno.

One Local one International, yay i've got friends from the east at last. Finally i could find some people over here who i can hangout with somewhere east. Dun always have to be the lonely loser walking alone in malls. i like melanie, seems to always have somethings to chat about, which is nice. So long since i had anyone to txt.

Caught up with people online yesterday too. They had don't-talk-about-it all over them. Prelims totally sucked. My L1R5 is 27. I got a F9 for Combine humanities. Thanks to geography for pulling it down. I suck at geography. Geography sucks too. Why does it suck. BECAUSE I"M NOT GONNA BE A SOME GEOGRAPHIC SCIENTIST OR SOME SHIT. ITS NOT GONNA HELP ME IN LIFE.

A stupid bucktooth girl, a zao-geeng girl aka mop and the rest of their friends that i shan't bother describing because you'll start vormitting blood by the time i finish with the first girl.

So we were having much fun at the Mac when guy number 1 appeared. He was suppose to be lean and mean. Imagine those action stars take Anold for example. Then you take away the muscles away the looks and there you have it. What i saw. A group of ugly people, so ugly you wished you could kill yourself the moment you see them coming.

I couldn't really make out what they were saying because i couldn't really be bothered. "eh who say raymon name ah?... eh come out... we want... " ah of course. i only heard the phrase come out. Then i became alert.

OMG! I said No. Why should i. People of Singapore have rights. They do not have to listen to you unless you are the government. These creatures(i shall call them that cos that is really what they are) are scumbugs that have loitered around the drains in Singapore. They belong there and i agreed very much to it.

So i took my stand. NO.

I dunno what the hell. Then we went out of Mac.

Oh yeah before that. The bucktooth girl insulted me, but i cant really diss her back. She's got the lean mean creatures behind her back.

We left the place. And they caught up with us. The girls now had a another creature who was willing to help them. So lalala happened. Then they said sorry misunderstanding. So we left again.

Then then girls came back after us. Already half an hour of our time is already wasted by them. They wanted to settle this on top of the interchange. WOW.

We called the police. We went up.
We gained. Then the Mop sat with her leg opened, show us(the guys) her white underwear. Not bad huh.

Then dunno wtf it all ended. They wanted to end it quick. I shaked the Bucktooth's hand and left. Police just came. They left already. Sucha WASTE.

I want that Mop to Kena Police report. And get sent to Girl's Home.

Leslie sez Mop has got light blue bra very thin material and her boobs are big. I din know that. In fact i dun even know her. Din know that she was sitting behind me. Din know she wore a bra at all.

All i know is that she's one vulgar girl, who probably gets abused from her dad or something. She seems to have this perpetual anger against guys.