hello

you could just destroy it. Not by yourself even, thats how powerful you are. Just by going to that page, i would feel like i've been slapped with a piece a red juicy raw beef. The blood is now dripping down, but i let it continue.

I hope when i'm done with my o levels, it won't be too late still. You made my day just be sitting with me for mass even though you attended one yesterday. By just talking to me, laughing with me, calling me lame or something. I loved the way you dressed just so perfect even though you hadn't bother with dressing up. I love your smiles so sweet and irresistiblely temtping to look at, i had to hide it by stealing glances ones in a while.

Even though you're online i wouldn't risk increasing my heartache by going there clicking on your msn and talking to you. And find out that you don't like me anymore at all. I want to know if you do, i want that feeling there, i want you.

You'll never know how desperate i was when i couldn't find something i think is nice to wear to sunday. I settle for what the white collar button long sleeve shirt, hoping you'll find it impressive. At least you said i was nice. Thank God for that.

I screwed up my orals, or at least i think i did. Missed out afew words from the passage, wasn't talking about the picture and the damm teacher had to redirect me back to the picture and during the conversation ah i dunno. Man i think i screwed up my prelims.

Oh well i guess thats what's life. about hellish screw ups.

Then i went to my cousin's house for tuition.I din do my homework again. Oh well. Got a excuss.

Met my fren to go for Sonicfest, a christian gig which was very nice. I'm tired so pardon this shit. ah. man.

i though i still had a chance.but i dun think i do anymore. oh well. someone else is more you and even you agree. so i guess i should just go find someone else. and concentrate with the o levels. GET SOME FUCKING GOOD RESULTS. damm it. fuck o levels. ah.

I'm feeling Michael Buble - Home.
i want to go back to the past. where you still liked me. when you still liked me. when we could have gotten together. i feel i've missed out on alot of you. why din you chase even though i was with that bitch. i would have come to you. ah. my freakin life. its screwed. i want you. damn.

Weezer - "Keep fishing " is my song tonight. i feel so lyk that.

You'll never be
A better Kind
If you don't leave
(the world)
The world behind

Waste my days, (waste my days)
It Drown aways (drown aways)
It's just the thought of you
In love with someone else
It breaks my heart to see you hangin' from your shelf

You'll never do
The things you want
If you don't move
(and get)
And get a job

Waste my days, (waste my days)
Drown aways (drown aways)
It's just the thought of you
In love with someone else
It breaks my heart
To see you hangin' from your shelf

Oh girl when I'm in love with you
Keep fishin' if you feel it's true
There's nothing much that we can do
To save you from yourself

Waste my days,(waste my days)
It Drown aways (drown aways)
It's just the thought of you
In love with someone else
It breaks my heart
To see you hangin' from a shelf

Oh girl when I'm in love with you
Keep fishin' if you feel it's true
There's nothing much that we can do
To save you from yourself

You'll never be
A better kind
You'll never be
A better kind

Waste my days (ohhh)
Waste my days (ohhh)
Waste my days (ohh whoo)
Waste my days (ohhh)
Waste my days (ohh whoo)
Waste my days

Oh haha. I'm free at least from the once undying clutch of the ex. She's gonna return me all my stuff. My Bag, headphone and Greenday Cd Cover. And then i'm gonna lend it to jocelyn my best friend whose in her skl just to piss her off. Oh well.

Anyway, M messaged me yesterday night to apologies for being mean to me. Which i thought was rather sweet. It gave me hope that she still might like me! Yeeps! After all i jioed her last time since December to March and she liked me too just didn't tell me. And she was also being very mean to me around Febuary to early March. I thought all was lost. She doesnt like me. And went on with life. Hopelessly.
At least she reflected about what she said to me, she made a point to think about those converstions with me online. Oh man i was in Cloud 9 when i saw the message. Then as quickly as she made my day, she told me err i got to rush Got Prayer Meeting before school starts. Then off she went leaving her phone in her room.
Btw I was asleep then i replied in the morning.

I didn't do PE today. just went and said i've got MC which is true, i have it just it's with my form teacher Zabby Chua. I went to the hall with yx and berserk to teach berserk breakdance. I kept faking falls and faints along the way there, which was very realistic and i jus droped and my full body jus slammed down like someone who got his life sucked out by the angel of death, except mine was fake. Pretty dramatic. haha. anyway i was sick. haha.

My friend's band Arpee's playing at this gig. Hope he can get me free tickets, otherwise i wouldn't wanna go. I'm suppose to study you see, but if i could get free tickets i wouldn't mind going. haha.

http://www.flexyourrights.org/ Its funny i hope someone from Singapore could create something like this.

And i
by Boxcar Racer

I am
Lost in the crowd
I'm standing in line
I'm feeling so down
And I am
Full of doubt
She's not the one
Take note of this
Hear me out

I... want her, need her
And you ALWAYS will pull me through

I'm tired
This game's so dumb
She never played
Her race's won
I'm tired
Can't smile no more
I'll sure cave in
Just like before

I... want her, need her
And you ALWAYS will pull me through
And I... want her, need her
And you ALWAYS WILL pull me through

I... want her, need her
And you ALWAYS will pull me through
I... want her, need her
And you ALWAYS WILL pull me through
And I... want her, need her
And I... want her, need her
And I... want her, need her
And I... And I... And I


ah sometimes i feel so like that!

anyway today was a kinda screwed up day. well not wholly. I had English Compo test, which i think i did fairly well. Taking
points of the book by Bill Bryson called Neither Here Nor There Travels in Europe. I'm currently reading this book. It's
extortionately euphoric. Big words i know. But anymore simplier would be an insult to this stupendously written book. haha.
enough about this book. By the way, you guys should go get it. Anyway. later on i had physics test. which i tried to do with the
painfully gained knowledge through out my life, i guess i kinda did this and that. And my teacher told the class that if they
couldnt attain 15/20 do not hand up. Cause even if you do he will thrown it back at you like it's a worthless pile of bat boogie.
I took back my paper meekly. Right after the physics test was Additional Maths for-the-god-damm-smartarse who do not
look too confident anymore. Well i was confident. Yeah. I'm a God damm SmartArse. Hmmm very good. The ending was good
i was skanking happily. tralala. Yeah man its B-square-minus-4AC-Lesser-Then-Zero.-Told-you-so mood.

thats the end.

i got this funny advertisement from the clinic which i spent painful hour sitting there listening to Pictures of shoreline and others. Hoping i would actually die waiting.
Excerpt:

Oral contraceptives pill that is also:

• highly effective in reducing acne and oily facial skin
• decreasing body weight with on average 1.4 kilograms over 1 year
• highly effective in reducing painful period
• improving your sex life isnt that great?

but sadly this is only for females. so all you overweight bulls can go do your pull-ups.

I think this a solution for all ladies with fat, blotted acne skin with painful periods and overwhelming sex drive!

seriously i thought the government is try their very best to get couples to have more sex? this is how they're doing it. oh yeah no wonder. Females going on womb strike. Oral contraceptives the way to go! they have greater benefits that Slim10, the Fann Wong product and whatevers. ah haha.
i think maybe the Government should maybe authorise some leaky condoms? hmmm bad idea.

Music People should listen to:
Anti-Flag - Die for your government

you've gotta die,
gotta die,
gotta die for your government?
die for your country?
that's shit! (x2)

there's a gulf war vet,
dying a slow,cold death,
and the government says,
"we don't know the source of his sickness."
but don't believe what they say,
because your government is lying,
they've done it before,
and don't you know they'll do it again,
a secret test,
government built virus "subject test group:
gulf battle field troops"

you've gotta die,
gotta die,
gotta die for your government?
die for your country?
that's shit! (x2)

first world war veterans slaughtered,
by general eisenhower,
you give them your life,
they give you a stab in the back,
radiation, agent orange,
tested on us souls,
guinea pigs for western corporations,
i never have,
i never will pledge allegiance to their flag you're getting used,
you'll end up dead!

you've gotta die,
gotta die,
gotta die for your government?
die for your country?
that's shit! (x2)

i don't need you to tell me what to do,
and i don't need you,
to tell me what to be...
fuck you!
i don't need you to tell me what to say,
and i don't need you,
to tell me what to think!
what to think!
what to think,
what to think,
what to think,
think,
think,
think!

die,
gotta die,
gotta die for your government?
die for your country?
that's shit!

ya gotta die,
gotta die,
gotta die for your government?
die for your country?
that's shit


haha.

Deceit. yeah. i think maybe perhaps all about you is that. Huge bowls of it you down down everytime. i aint gonna take that shit from you anymore. do whatever you want. it's starting to disgust me real bad. looking lyk a clown in church. boxers showing, eyeliner thick and "dripping". call me kill me. you're fucking your life upside down. you are totally not that image i saw at that concert. thats picture i thought full of past screwups that healed. but not anymore can i use my mind to imagine you as colourful as that. I know what you put up on that site, it's directed at me. If i had an intention to get back(not that i have) seeing you lyk this makes all intention of going back regrettable. I cant even reminisce the better times.

yeah maybe its really true. being a failure in the primary inevitably makes you one in the secondary.

One of the most powerful ways to start mending your broken heart is to change the habits of your thinking. For example, part of being heartbroken is still feeling in love with how your ex used to be. It hurts because part of you is still attached to your ex. This exercise will help that part of you release itself from those painful feelings.

1. Recall five times you felt very in love with your ex and make a list of them, so you can easily call them to mind.

2. Start to recall the first memory again, then step out of it and move the image of that event away from you so that you can see yourself in the picture. Move the image away until it is small and the emotional intensity is reduced.

3. Drain out the color so that it is black and white, then make it transparent. When you look at the event like this it will seem like it is happening to someone else and the emotional intensity will be further reduced.

4. When you’ve finished, do the same with each of the other memories.

5. Next, spend some time remembering in detail five negative experiences with your ex-partner, where you felt very definitely un-attracted to them. Think of the times when they did something that really hurt you, turned you off or offended you.

6. Now take the least appealing memory and fully return to that moment. Go back and run through it all over again. Step into the memory so that you are seeing the things you saw, hearing the things you heard and fully feeling the things you felt all over again.

7. Now turn up the color and the clarity. Make the memory as bright and clear as you can and feel the feelings getting stronger and stronger.

8. Go through each of the other four memories and step into them. Carry on until you feel you have had quite enough of them and even the idea of thinking about them is totally unattractive.

Take your time over the exercise. Some people have found that doing this just once makes them feel totally different. Other people like to do it every day. To make sure the effect sticks, do it every day for two weeks. Each repetition will strengthen the neural pathways you create, so it gets easier and quicker until the feeling becomes automatic.

From the book How to Mend Your Broken Heart by Paul McKenna, Ph.D., and Hugh Willbourn, Ph.D. Copyright (c) 2003 by Paul McKenna and Hugh Willbourn. Published by Three Rivers Press.

I guess I dun need those tips. But for those who need it desperately. One should always seek help. Otherwise those of the unsound caliber would all turn against themselves and start killing everyone. or some shit i dunno. wtf.

uhhh. effing hell. about 100 days to constant condemnation.
English Language paper 01: 09-11 08.00am 02: 09-11 10.15am
Combine Humanties paper 01: 07-11 14.00pm 02: 16-11 08.00am
Mathematics paper 01: 07-11 08.00am 02: 11-11 08.00am
Additional Maths paper 01: 15-11 14.00pm 02: 17-11 08.00am
Physic paper 01: 16-11 14.00pm* 02: 16-11 15.30pm* 03: 27-10 08.00am
Chemistry Paper 01: 18-11 14.30pm 02: 18-11 16.00pm 03: 25-10 08.00am
Principal Of Acc paper 01: 17-00 14.00pm 02: 16-11 14.00pm*
Chinese B paper 01: 14-11 14.00pm 02: 14-11 15.30 Oral: 26-09 Lc: 16-11

oh fuck. the god damm o level setters cant schedule stuff. stupid clashes. dun even know if cambride would bother re scheduling anot. then we'll have to stay back to continue the other papers that clashed. worse of all its a difficult paper the next day.

this might affect my whole life's struggle. 10yrs of hard education where they teach us to sing the anthem. and listen to authority and just do their bidding.
and just cos of some stupid ignorant staff forgot about my school. my schedule. my life.

anyway i think my ex-girlfriend got another boyfriend already. not really sure anyway.

Excerpt:

Strait signed. "You got that right, she's a looker. But you know what, lookers make a man's life miserable. Know why? 'cause some other guy's always trying to take her away. ...

thats the end of what i wanna say. Sometimes i really do not know whats up. God damm, that feeling sucks. The other person can just lie straight face, no show of any signs that they are lying. Difficult to trust.